The Anxiety of Kalix the Werewolf Read online

After the party, Moonglow slept late. She would have slept later had Vex not crashed into her room shortly after midday and jumped on her bed.

  “Hi, Moonglow, are you awake?”

  “No,” grunted Moonglow.

  Vex bounced around a few times. “Are you awake now? Do you want some tea?”

  “All right, I’ll have some tea.”

  “I didn’t bring any tea,” admitted Vex. “But I’ve got big news! I have a boyfriend!”

  “I have a hangover.”

  “Not as bad as Daniel’s,” chortled Vex. “He threw a shoe at me!”

  Moonglow sat up in bed. “You’re not going to go away, are you?”

  Vex grinned. “I have a boyfriend!”

  “OK,” said Moonglow, through dry lips. “Tell me about it.”

  “It’s Pete. The guitarist from Yum Yum Sugary Snacks.”

  Moonglow felt some stirrings of interest, despite her dry mouth and slight nausea. “How did this happen?”

  “Well, we were talking and dancing and stuff and then we were drinking and then everyone else seemed to be falling asleep so we were drinking some more and then I asked him if he’d liked to see my collection of Hello Kitty T-shirts and then we just sort of ended up in my bed.” Vex grinned, very broadly. Her hair was a chaotic mess of jagged blonde spikes, pointing in all directions. “So now he’s my boyfriend!”

  “You mean you slept together?”

  Vex nodded and looked pleased. Moonglow did her best to look pleased too, though she was far from certain that a drunken encounter with a guitarist really counted as having a boyfriend.

  “When he left this morning he said he’d call me.”

  “That’s nice,” said Moonglow.

  Vex rose from Moonglow’s bed, threw open the curtains and danced around the room.

  “I really think it’s time I had a boyfriend. And he likes everything I like! He’s a big fan of Tokyo Top Pop Boom Boom Girl.” Vex paused and frowned. “Well, I think he is. My memory’s a bit hazy.”

  To Moonglow’s distress, Vex sat on her bed again.

  “He’s really nice looking. And he plays guitar in my favorite band! I can’t wait to see him play onstage again now that he’s my boyfriend.”

  “When’s he going to call you?” asked Moonglow.

  “He didn’t say. Soon, probably. Any minute, I expect. I wonder if Daniel’s feeling any better? I really want to tell him about my boyfriend!”

  Vex hurried out of Moonglow’s bedroom. Moonglow shook her head, then struggled to rise. She wrapped herself in her black dressing gown and made her way carefully downstairs. Beauty and Delicious were sleeping on the living room floor, on a bed made from cushions and spare duvets that Moonglow had made up for them. The twins had crawled into it only a few hours ago, very unsteadily. Now, having changed back to human while they slept, as the dawn arrived, they looked peaceful, with their pink and blue hair splayed out over their cushions and onto the carpet. The cat had settled down with them but woke as Moonglow crept by and followed her to the kitchen.

  “You love sleeping with werewolves, don’t you?” said Moonglow. She opened a tin of cat food and filled the cat’s bowl before putting the kettle on. As she waited for it to boil, Moonglow reflected on their party. It had gone well, as far as she could remember. Kalix had seemed to enjoy herself, apart from the brief hostility between her and Decembrius. That had passed quickly, though Decembrius had spent the rest of the night sulking. So had Daniel. But Beauty, Delicious and Vex had created enough of a party atmosphere for anyone. As a celebration for Kalix’s birthday, it had been a success.

  There were some heavy, stumbling footsteps outside the kitchen. Daniel appeared, wearing an ancient T-shirt and a crumpled pair of dark khaki shorts. His hair, which he’d grown longer in recent months, was plastered to his forehead.

  “I’m going to kill Vex,” he mumbled.

  “Maybe you should have tea first?” said Moonglow.

  “OK. But then I’m really going to kill her.” Daniel sat on the kitchen floor, resting his back against a cabinet. “I feel terrible. Vex woke me up and started babbling about her boyfriend. I hate him already and I don’t even know who he is.”

  “It’s Pete.”

  “The guitarist? Isn’t he meant to be in love with Dominil or something?”

  Moonglow shrugged.

  “I think I’m going to be sick,” said Daniel. “Is the tea ready?”

  Moonglow poured boiling water from the kettle into the teapot, but by the time she’d hunted out two clean mugs, Daniel had left the kitchen in a hurry, looking unwell.

  At least that wasn’t too uncomfortable, thought Moonglow. She hadn’t been looking forward to her first encounter with Daniel after rejecting his advances in the cinema. Perhaps it was fortunate that the encounter had occurred while Daniel was feeling so poorly.

  But he won’t have a hangover forever, Moonglow realized. It’s still going to be awkward later.

  Moonglow felt dissatisfied. Now she was going to feel uncomfortable in her own house. What had Daniel been thinking about, trying to kiss her unexpectedly like that? No wonder she’d pushed him off. It was lucky the film had been entertaining and occupied everyone’s attention. Otherwise Moonglow and Daniel might have found themselves with a large audience for their uncomfortable love scene.

  “No doubt everyone’s heard about it by now.” Moonglow knew there was no chance of the incident being politely ignored. Vex would have inevitably learned all about it and told everyone.

  “They’re probably discussing it in Malveria’s palace at this moment.” Moonglow sighed. She took her tea and headed swiftly upstairs to her room, hoping to avoid Vex. Moonglow didn’t feel like enduring another long description from the young Fire Elemental about how good it was to have a boyfriend.

  I bet he never calls her anyway, she thought, and then felt a little ashamed for thinking mean thoughts.

  CHAPTER 17

  Old Minerva MacRinnalch’s mountain stood at one end of Glen Marbauch, a deep, glacial valley in a very remote part of the Scottish Highlands. At the other end of the glen was the tiny village of Marbauch, containing only a few cottages and a single shop. Dominil had booked two rooms in a tiny bed-and-breakfast. After successfully negotiating the long drive from Inverness, she halted the car before reaching the village.

  The two werewolves looked along the valley. It was raining and, in the distance, under the gray sky, Mount Marbauch looked steep, dark and not welcoming.

  “Maybe we should have gone to a clinic,” said Kalix.

  “Too late now,” replied Dominil. “Anyway, we can’t. The standard treatments for addiction don’t agree with werewolf physiology.”

  “I know,” sighed Kalix. “I was really sick after I took methadone.”

  “Who gave you that?”

  “No one. One time when I couldn’t afford laudanum I broke into a chemist and stole it.”

  Kalix gazed at the mountain, and her heart sank even further. The gray slopes were impressive in their way. Inspiring even, as scenery. But as a place to undergo treatment for addiction, Kalix couldn’t help thinking they’d made a terrible mistake.

  “Do we have to climb it?”

  “Minerva will meet us at the foot. I understand there’s a pathway to the top.”

  “Is it a steep path? Can you fall off?” Kalix’s was feeling more and more depressed. She was at least relieved to hear there was a path. She’d had a vision of herself struggling up the mountain with ropes and didn’t think she could manage it.

  They parked outside the small bed-and-breakfast. There were a few other houses in the distance; hardly enough to qualify as even a village. A few hours ago in London, it had been warm and sunny, but here the rain fell steadily and there was a cold wind. Kalix shivered. She had poor resistance to the elements, much less than would have been expected from a werewolf. It was part of the effect that the drug had on her system.

  Dominil wondered if the locals knew that a powerfu
l werewolf sorcerer lived at the far end of the glen. If they did, might they also suspect that she and Kalix were werewolves too? If the landlady did suspect anything, she didn’t show it. While she couldn’t hide her surprise at the sight of Dominil’s icy white hair, she greeted the pair convivially.

  “We get a lot of walkers around these parts in the summer,” she said. “Are you here for the scenery?”

  “Yes,” said Dominil. “We like to get back to Scotland when we can.”

  Dominil didn’t sound Scottish. She’d abandoned her accent at Oxford. Kalix still had a strong accent, undiluted by her time in London.

  Their rooms were clean and comfortable, as Minerva had assured Dominil they would be. Minerva had seemed very knowledgeable about the local area, and Dominil wondered again if the people here knew about her unusual nature.

  Kalix was tired after the flight. “What time are we meant to meet Minerva?”

  “At dawn,” said Dominil. “We’ll have to set off early.”

  Kalix yawned. “I’m not used to these early mornings.”

  “Students never are.”

  Kalix was surprised to hear herself described as a student. She supposed she was. She’d be going back to college soon. But her college was a remedial establishment, helping people with poor learning skills. Dominil had two first-class degrees from Oxford. Kalix didn’t feel like a student in her company.

  “Did you like the Runaways film?”

  “It was interesting,” said Dominil noncommittally. “I wondered if it might give me any hints on how to manage a band. At least it gave me some idea how not to.”

  Kalix asked her cousin what she planned to do next for Yum Yum Sugary Snacks.

  “I’m thinking about trying to get them a place on a tour, supporting some band with a reasonable fan base. That would do them good. We’ve played three gigs in London since that debacle in Edinburgh, and they’ve gone much better. I think they could cope with a support slot. I’m told that if I could persuade a well-known producer to work on their demo, that would help too. Though I’m not sure any producer would work with the twins, given their bad reputation.”

  Kalix went off early to her room, leaving Dominil sitting next to her window with her laptop computer open in front of her. As night fell and the moon appeared, Dominil took on her werewolf shape quite smoothly and remained at her computer. It was an accepted fact of life among the MacRinnalchs that as a werewolf, you couldn’t work a keyboard, but Dominil, through determined practice, had almost mastered the art. It meant picking out one key at a time, slowly, with her werewolf claws, but she could do it.

  Dominil sat in front of her computer for a long time. She didn’t feel like sleeping. She felt uneasy about tomorrow. During the great werewolf feud, Dominil had faced death quite calmly, but the prospect of giving up laudanum troubled her. She knew it would be difficult. She was aware of the changes the opiate would already have made to her brain and body. She was both physically and psychologically dependent on the drug. Dominil had researched the matter quite thoroughly. Unless, as Kalix hoped, Minerva had some magic solution, which was highly unlikely, they were in for an uncomfortable time.

  Dominil took her bottle of laudanum from her bag and measured out what would be her last dose, as instructed by Minerva. She drank it swiftly and replaced the top on the bottle. Then she undressed, lay on the bed, calmly cleared her mind of all negative thoughts and went to sleep.

  CHAPTER 18

  Daniel emerged from the bathroom feeling very unwell. He was not a great drinker and had indulged far too freely at Kalix’s party. His head ached and he still felt nauseous. Making matters worse, a great depression had settled in. His plan had completely failed. Moonglow had rejected him. He was now faced with the prospect of living in the same house as a girl with whom he was in love, but didn’t want him. Daniel despaired. It was bad enough being a rejected lover without bumping into the person you were in love with every day. He had vague thoughts of somehow avoiding Moonglow, but that, he immediately realized, wasn’t practical. He’d already met her in the kitchen, which would have been dreadfully embarrassing had he not been too ill to notice his emotions.

  I can’t be ill all the time, he reasoned. Sooner or later I have to meet her healthy.

  He wondered if he should move. That would create difficulties. He’d only just got his finances in order after the recent crisis. Moving would be expensive. He’d need a deposit for another flat, and he didn’t have the money. Perhaps he could take a room in someone else’s apartment? Daniel felt even gloomier. He didn’t want to move. He didn’t really want to not see Moonglow again either. Suddenly he was gripped by another wave of nausea and hurried back into the bathroom.

  This is an all time low, thought Daniel. Nothing could be worse.

  Vex burst into the bathroom. “Hi, Daniel! I’ve got a boyfriend!”

  “I was wrong,” muttered Daniel. “It can get worse.”

  “Will you be sick for long?”

  Daniel shook his head, indicating that he wasn’t really in control of the matter.

  “OK,” said Vex, cheerfully. “When you get better I want to have a house meeting.”

  “What?”

  “A house meeting. I can call one, right?”

  Daniel shrugged. Moonglow was the only person who ever convened house meetings, but he supposed anyone was free to call one. By the time he made it to his feet, Vex was gone, running noisily downstairs. Daniel heard some protests from Beauty and Delicious, who were not pleased to be roused from their sleep.

  I’m never having a party again in any house where Vex is present, thought Daniel, slowly making his way back to his room. Or Moonglow. Also, I’m never drinking alcohol again.

  Downstairs, Moonglow, while not at her brightest, was suffering less. She had a greater tolerance to alcohol than Daniel and had not indulged so freely. With so many werewolves in the house, Moonglow had felt a nagging sense of responsibility, fearing that things might get out of hand. She’d restrained her own celebrations just in case.

  “Moonglow,” called Delicious from the living room floor. “Please bring us tea and also get rid of this noisy Fire Elemental.”

  Moonglow put the kettle on again to make tea for the twins. Vex reappeared in the kitchen.

  “I want to have a house meeting,” she said.

  “A meeting? Why, what’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. But I need help. I’ll tell you when Daniel’s stopped being sick. Is he being sick because you broke his heart?”

  Moonglow was trying not to think about Daniel and didn’t reply.

  “It’s bound to be upsetting, really,” said Vex. “What with him being in love with you and you rejecting him. Wouldn’t surprise me if he just jumped out the window or something. You know, in despair.”

  Vex peered out of the kitchen window, in case Daniel might be flying past at that moment.

  “Stop being ridiculous,” said Moonglow. “Daniel is not going to jump out of the window.”

  Moonglow refused to discuss it any further. To distract Vex, she asked about Pete. Vex happily returned to the subject of her new boyfriend, carrying on a one-sided conversation while Moonglow made tea and took it on a tray to the twins. By this time they had roused themselves and were sitting on the couch, yawning.

  “What’s this about Pete?” asked Beauty, whose pink hair was strewn across her forehead. She shoved it back with her fingers, creating a sort of hair mountain on top of her head.

  Vex related her story again. The twins were interested to hear that their guitarist had spent the night with Vex. Moonglow noticed them exchanging glances at Vex’s description of Pete as her new boyfriend. Obviously, they shared Moonglow’s doubts.

  It was early in the afternoon before the twins left. They thanked Moonglow for her hospitality and even helped clear the living room. Moonglow was surprised, having not expected them to be so well mannered. She realized she’d never before encountered Beauty and Delicious when they were sob
er. They departed in a cab. It was an expensive journey, all the way north to Camden, but the twins had plenty of money and never minded paying for a taxi.

  “Can we have our house meeting now?” Vex asked Moonglow.

  “I’m not sure that Daniel will be ready for a meeting.”

  “I’ll get him,” said Vex, and hurried upstairs.

  CHAPTER 19

  “It is a terrible thing to happen,” said Queen Malveria, pacing up and down Thrix’s office. Her heels were extremely high, even by Malveria’s standards, but the Queen had been pacing relentlessly since arriving in the office. “How could this happen?”

  “Calm down, Malveria,” said Thrix. “It’s not that bad.”

  “Enchantress, you amaze and distress me. Not that bad?”

  The Fire Queen grabbed a magazine from Thrix’s desk and glared at it with such loathing that it burst into flames. Thrix muttered a sorcerous word to put out the fire. Malveria scowled at the charred magazine then threw it down in disgust.

  “Espionage must be involved! It has happened before and I won’t stand for it! I will rain down fire on this designer and his cheap strumpet who is now wearing a surprisingly similar outfit to the one which you have designed for me!”

  In ten days’ time, the King and Queen of the Mayusta Earth Elementals were paying Malveria a state visit. Malveria had been looking forward to wearing her new line of formal wear. Thrix’s designs were so elegant and becoming. Since engaging Thrix as her designer, the Fire Queen had been much happier while performing her official duties. It was so satisfying to be able to turn up at a grand event in a really special coat, with a beautiful hat and handbag to match.

  The Fire Queen glared at the charred magazine cover. “Who is this cheap whore anyway?”

  “Britain’s top Olympic athlete,” said Thrix.

  “Why is she at Buckingham Palace?”

  “She’s receiving an MBE for services to the country.”

  “Pah!” snorted Malveria, who had little time for athletics.

  Thrix glanced at the scorched magazine cover, on which the female athlete was pictured wearing a sober but stylish ensemble in dark gray. It was true that it was very similar to the outfit Thrix had designed for Malveria, but Thrix was sure it was just a coincidence.