The Anxiety of Kalix the Werewolf Read online

  It had occurred to Kalix quite recently that perhaps, as she was often unhappy, she could do something to make her life better. The idea had come to her after she’d decided not to accept money from Dominil. Dominil had made an agreement with Thane Markus whereby he secretly paid her for any werewolf hunters she killed. She’d offered part of that money to Kalix. Kalix decided she didn’t want to accept it. She felt no guilt over killing werewolf hunters, but she didn’t feel comfortable being paid for it. This decision led Kalix on to a lot of unexpected thinking. If she’d made an important decision about something like that, perhaps she could make other difficult decisions too. Perhaps she could change other things in her life that bothered her. She was familiar with the notion of deliberately modifying her behavior, thanks to her time in therapy. She’d never felt that her therapist had helped her in the past, but she was stronger now. She might be able to help herself.

  Kalix looked at the list she’d made under the heading of Werewolf Improvement Plan.

  – be less violent

  – be independent

  – stop taking laudanum

  – get on better with people

  – stop being anxious

  – stop being depressed

  – stop cutting myself

  – eat better

  – don’t throw up

  – improve reading and writing and math

  “I could make these things better. Some of them anyway.”

  Kalix wondered if she should include something about relationships. She’d been seeing Decembrius but it wasn’t going well. Decembrius had strong feelings for Kalix, and she liked him in a way, but they never quite seemed to gel. Their encounters always ended in arguments, and sometimes in fights.

  I’ll leave that off the list for now, thought Kalix. After all, everyone has problems with relationships. Look at Daniel and Moonglow.

  Kalix focused on the first entry on her list. Be less violent. Her short life had been full of violence. She’d killed werewolf hunters, many of them. She’d killed werewolves too, members of her clan who’d pursued her. Moonglow and Daniel knew some of her history, but Kalix wondered how they’d react if they really knew the levels of violence she’d been involved in. Would Moonglow be quite so keen to give her an eighteenth birthday party if she’d ever witnessed her ripping a fellow werewolf to pieces? Or killing three hunters in the space of a few seconds? Kalix’s ferocity in battle was legendary in the MacRinnalch Clan. Once attacked, she lost control of herself. Her battle madness descended on her and nothing could stop her. She’d torn apart werewolves much larger and stronger than herself. Her speed and power were abnormal, even by the standards of her fellow werewolves. The madness in battle was just part of her general insanity, according to her detractors. Dominil thought it was more to do with her unusual birth at the full moon, and Dominil was a very clever werewolf.

  Kalix wondered if she might be able to avoid violence for a while. Dominil didn’t think that Kalix would suffer any more pursuit from the MacRinnalchs. Those members of the clan who still hated her had finally been brought into line by Markus and the Mistress of the Werewolves. While there were still many werewolves who still believed she should be brought to justice for her part in the death of the old Thane, the past was to lie quietly for a while.

  That left the werewolf hunters. Here too, Kalix had some reason for optimism. Some months ago, the Avenaris Guild had sent hunters all the way up to Scotland. Kalix had defeated them. Others in the clan fell victim to the sorcery of their enemies, but Kalix had resisted it and killed the attackers. It had been a severe blow to the Guild. Dominil, who apparently was able to spy on them, had reported that they were quiet these days.

  So maybe I can stay out of fights for a while, thought Kalix.

  There was a violent crash as Vex attempted to burst into the room without considering that the door might be locked. Kalix hurriedly hid her journal.

  “Hey, Kalix, let me in!” shouted Vex.

  “Go away,” shouted Kalix.

  “Did you know your door’s locked?”

  “Yes. And don’t you dare teleport in here!” yelled Kalix.

  “OK, I’ll just teleport in,” shouted Vex.

  Seconds later, Vex materialized in Kalix’s room, looking pleased with herself.

  “I am getting so good at this traveling through space stuff,” she said. “Did you know your door was locked?”

  “Of course I knew my door was locked! I was trying to keep people out.”

  “Really? Can I help?”

  Kalix sighed.

  “Our party is going to be the best thing ever,” cried the young Fire Elemental. “I’m so excited! Do you think Yum Yum Sugary Snacks could play in the living room?”

  Yum Yum Sugary Snacks, fronted by Kalix’s werewolf cousins Beauty and Delicious, were Vex’s favorite band.

  “It would be great! We could get up onstage and dance with them!”

  “I’d hate that!” said Kalix. “And where would the stage be anyway—in the living room?”

  Vex looked puzzled. “I hadn’t thought of that. Maybe we could dance on the couch?”

  She grinned eagerly. Kalix found herself smiling, though she hadn’t meant to. Vex’s enthusiasm tended to be infectious. It was hard to remain completely uninvolved once Vex developed a passion for anything.

  “It’s going to be the full moon. Beauty and Delicious will be werewolves too. I don’t think they can play guitar when they’re werewolves.”

  The MacRinnalch werewolves were able to change into their wolf form any night if they chose, but on the three nights around the full moon, they all transformed automatically.

  “Oh.” Vex looked disappointed. “That might be a problem. These big werewolf claws are a bit clumsy. No offense, you can’t help having big clumsy claws. We’ll just have to make do with CDs. Daniel is showing me how to make a playlist!”

  Vex shook her head, dancing to an imaginary playlist. Recently she’d been letting her hair grow, and the bleached spikes that once stood vertically in the air now enveloped her head in a jagged sphere. She wore one of her many Hello Kitty T-shirts and a small red kilt. Unusually, she was barefooted, having been discouraged by Moonglow from jumping around the house in her large boots.

  “And we’re going to the movies! I love the movies!”

  Vex’s suggestion about the Runaways film had been generally approved. Moonglow had already booked their tickets. Kalix was looking forward to seeing the film and felt more enthusiasm for this than any other part of the birthday celebration. There had been times in Kalix’s lonely past when her two tapes of the band were all she had for company. She still loved the Runaways. When she’d learned that the band had never been all that successful, she’d felt quite angry about it and taken it as proof of the world’s stupidity. According to Daniel, who was obsessively knowledgeable about music, the film was part of a process that had seen the band’s reputation grow since their demise in 1980.

  Why did people not like them till now? she wondered.

  Vex jumped onto Kalix’s bed. “I can’t wait till our birthday! I’ve never been so excited! I’m the most excited a person can be! Unless there was some exciting news about Tokyo Top Pop Boom Boom Girl! Then I’d be even more excited!”

  Tokyo Top Pop Boom Boom Girl was Vex’s favorite Japanese cartoon. She was a fanatical devotee.

  “I don’t think you could take any more excitement,” said Kalix.

  Daniel put his head through the open door. “Hey, Vex, did you know there’s a new spin-off from Tokyo Top Pop Boom Boom Girl?”

  Vex gasped, and then fell over. She lay on the floor, panting.

  “Now you’ve got her overexcited,” said Kalix, helping her back onto the bed. It took a few minutes before Vex could speak again.

  “What’s the spin-off?” she asked.

  “Tokyo Top Pop Boom Boom Girl has a sister—Nagasaki Night Fight Boom Boom Girl. She’s getting her own series.”

  Vex sq
uawked loudly, and fell on the bed in a faint again. Kalix looked at Daniel.

  “You have to stop doing this.”

  “But I thought she’d want to know.”

  Moonglow appeared in the room. “What’s all the noise?”

  “Vex is overexcited because Daniel told her about a new Boom Boom Girl cartoon,” explained Kalix.

  “Daniel, you need to be more careful. Look, Vex’s fingers are starting to glow.”

  The Fire Elementals were in complete control of the element of fire. Apart from Vex, who wasn’t very good at it. She revived again, and grinned.

  “I never knew Tokyo Top Boom Boom Girl had a sister. Did you know?”

  “I think the sister just came along because the original is popular,” said Daniel. “They wanted to make a spin-off.”

  “When does it start?”

  “Next week,” said Daniel.

  Vex fell over in a faint for the third time. Kalix, Moonglow and Daniel looked at her prone figure, as did the cat, who chose this moment to wander into the room.

  “If you have any more Japanese anime news, break it to her gently,” suggested Moonglow. “Otherwise she’ll never be conscious again.”

  Daniel nodded. “Lucky I never showed her the pictures.”

  “I want to see the pictures,” came Vex’s voice, faint but still excited.

  CHAPTER 7

  Mr. Carmichael sat alone at the table that dominated his office, an elegant piece from the Georgian era. There was a smaller table, also Georgian, in the corner of the room, and four antique chairs, all of which gave his office the appearance of a room which contained too much furniture. It was a common feature of the Guild’s headquarters. The Avenaris Guild had been in existence for a very long time, and its headquarters was filled with old and valuable antiques, mostly Queen Anne and Georgian, with a few pieces from the Regency. Though the mahogany and walnut chairs, tables and cabinets now existed alongside computers and filing cabinets, the abundance of antique furniture still gave the offices an air of antiquity and opulence, and a slight aura of gloom.

  If the Guild’s furnishings were old, the Guild had finally brought its security into line with modern practices. The London headquarters of the Avenaris Guild was extremely well hidden. Mr. Carmichael had recently used some of the Guild’s new wealth to boost its defenses, and the board was now confident that its headquarters could not be discovered, by magic, cyber-espionage or any other means.

  It was disturbing, therefore, to look up and find a woman he didn’t recognize sitting in the chair opposite him, apparently flickering in and out of existence. As the woman came into focus, she frowned.

  “Odd,” she said. “I can’t seem to materialize properly.”

  Mr. Carmichael frowned in turn. “You shouldn’t be able to materialize at all.”

  The woman became solid for a few seconds. She was still frowning. “Empress Kabachetka believed she could send me straight here.”

  “Ah.” Carmichael nodded. “Kabachetka. That explains how you knew our location.”

  Kabachetka was an ally of sorts. She’d lent assistance to the Guild’s hunters in the past, notably Captain Easterly. Not that the affair had ended well: Easterly was dead and sorely missed.

  “Turn off your defenses and allow me to materialize properly,” said the woman.

  Mr. Carmichael shook his head. “I can’t. It’s a permanent feature. If you redirect your teleportation to the front door, I’ll have security let you in. Who are you, by the way?”

  “Distikka. Emissary from the Empress. Kabachetka sends greetings and wonders if her greatly increased power might help you destroy the MacRinnalchs.”

  The woman slipped out of existence again, and this time she didn’t reappear. After a few moments, Mr. Carmichael’s intercom buzzed, and security at the front of the building informed him there was a woman outside, asking to see him.

  “Send her up,” replied Mr. Carmichael. He was interested to hear what Distikka had to say. Since the money from the late Countess of Nottingham had been transferred into the Guild’s bank accounts, Mr. Carmichael had had the feeling that things were finally turning in his favor. Only a few weeks ago, he’d wondered how the Guild was ever going to make progress against the werewolves. Now, plans were being made. There was a list of possible targets. Top of the list was Kalix MacRinnalch. Information on important werewolves was hard to come by, but the Guild knew quite a lot about Kalix. They’d encountered her several times and knew all about her savagery. They also knew she was an outcast, living in London, far from the support of her Scottish clan. Mr. Carmichael had developed a particular obsession with Kalix. She was an important werewolf: daughter of the old Thane and sister to the new one. She was strongly suspected of killing Captain Easterly, and possibly Albermarle as well. Not only that, she’d killed hunters here in London, right under the noses of the Guild. Kalix was a werewolf who had to be eliminated.

  Despite the information the Guild held on Kalix, there was no clue as to where she might live. The Guild had been unable to track her down. For some reason, she was extremely difficult to find. It was partly for this reason that Mr. Carmichael had come under pressure. His failure to deal with her had not gone down well with the rest of the board.

  Perhaps she won’t be so hard to find with Kabachetka’s help, thought the chairman.

  Distikka arrived in his office in the company of two security guards. Mr. Carmichael greeted her and dismissed the guards. He was surprised at Distikka’s appearance. It was unusual to meet a person wearing chain mail these days, though for all he knew it might be normal among the Fire Elementals.

  “That was inconvenient,” said Distikka brusquely. “Though it’s no bad thing your defenses are working well.”

  Distikka leaned over the desk. She was a small woman, with a dark brown complexion, short dark hair and an air of intense concentration.

  “There are werewolves in London that the Empress would like to see dead. Notably Thrix and Kalix MacRinnalch.”

  Distikka’s voice was a little deeper than might have been expected from her small frame. Her accent was quite pronounced, though Mr. Carmichael couldn’t have made a guess as to its origin.

  “Kalix MacRinnalch is a target of ours,” said Mr. Carmichael. “But I’m not certain of the other. Thrix, did you say?”

  Distikka nodded. “Kalix’s sister. A werewolf who uses sorcery and hides herself so successfully that you’ve already forgotten it was her who ensnared the hunter Easterly, leading to his death. She too must be killed.”

  CHAPTER 8

  Kalix experienced a burst of optimism on the evening before her birthday. She was looking forward to seeing the Runaways film. Unusually, her excitement did not turn into anxiety. When Moonglow asked her if she wanted to invite Decembrius, she agreed.

  “Then that will be Decembrius and Beauty and Delicious, and maybe Dominil,” said Moonglow.

  “Maybe?”

  “I asked the twins to invite her,” explained Moonglow. “But they said she wouldn’t commit herself.”

  Kalix was disappointed. She liked Dominil, even if the white-haired werewolf was rather foreboding. Moonglow suggested that Kalix might call her herself, but Kalix demurred. It would be embarrassing if Dominil refused the invitation. Kalix had encountered a lot of rejection in her life and never voluntarily put herself in a position where it might happen again.

  Daniel had agreed to drive them to the cinema where Moonglow had already booked seats. They were due to meet Beauty and Delicious, and if all went according to plan they’d be back home before darkness came, triggering the change into werewolves. It struck Moonglow that they were about to spend an evening with four werewolves in their house. Five if Dominil showed up.

  “I hope nothing goes wrong,” she said to Daniel.

  “It’ll be fine,” said Daniel. “We’ve met them all before.”

  “But not all at once, as werewolves.”

  “Well, they all seem quite well in control
of themselves. Apart from the twins, I suppose, when they drink too much. And Kalix can get a little agitated. But apart from the intoxicated twins and Kalix maybe going mad, we’ve got nothing to worry about.”

  “At least Dominil never goes mad,” said Moonglow reassuringly. “She’s always . . . uh . . .”

  “Unfriendly? Violent? Murderous?”

  “Maybe I was so keen to give Kalix a nice birthday I didn’t think this through properly. Is the fridge full of meat?”

  “Absolutely packed,” said Daniel, who had responsibility for meat buying in the household, Moonglow being a vegetarian. “Enough for plenty of hungry werewolves. That’s a nice dress, you’re looking pretty.”

  Moonglow was surprised by the compliment, and pleased. Daniel had always been attracted to Moonglow and seemed recently to have been trying to win her over by way of compliments and helpful behavior. Which, Moonglow admitted to herself, was an improvement on his previous campaign of bad moods and displays of temper.

  The next day there was an unusual amount of activity in the small flat as the four flatmates prepared themselves. Moonglow felt that she should make an effort, and she spent a long time in the morning drying and styling her long black hair and selecting a long black dress from her wardrobe. She put on a pair of high-heeled boots which, while not as pointed as the ones she wore on her occasional visits to Goth nightclubs, were still fancier than she’d normally wear out in daylight. She spent some time on her makeup and was looking very dramatic as she applied the finishing touches to her darkened lips.

  Downstairs, Daniel was in conversation with Vex. “It’s time I was going out with Moonglow. I’m going to make it happen today.”

  Daniel looked expectantly at Vex.

  “Do you think this purple Hello Kitty T-shirt goes with this red kilt?” she asked.

  Daniel pursed his lips. “No, it looks awful. But that’s beside the point. Moonglow should go out with me, don’t you agree?” He spread his arms wide, inviting the whole universe to agree with him. “It would have happened before now if we hadn’t had all these distractions. But every time we got close there was some werewolf crisis and everything went wrong.” Daniel looked pained. “And if it wasn’t a werewolf it was someone from another dimension—”